Friday, May 4, 2012

How To Pull A Successful All-Nighter

Most of us have pulled an all-nighter at some point in our lives. For those who haven't, you haven't lived.

Usually a thesis or test in another 8 hours are to blame. Those nights when you realise the impending doom that will occur when the sun rises.

But now you can put your days of despair behind you! Here's how:

1. Slap yourself.
Really hard. On the face.

You're a procrastinator. You're really good at procrastinating.

Maybe it'll wake you up. Or maybe, it'll remind you to start earlier.

2. Have a drink.
You deserve it. All those hours spent watching cats on YouTube have really taken a toll on your body. It's time to refuel for the big night ahead.

Go get some coffee or tea, but don't overdo it.

Avoid Red Bulls. They're for losers.

3. Eat something.
Eat foods with complex carbohydrates because they'll give you energy over a longer period of time like a sandwich or oats.

And I would strongly advise not to do anything ridiculous like cook a three-course meal.

4. Listen to music.
Avoid music with lyrics. Stick to instrumentals with a strong but fast bass. Blast it on your headphones. You don't want to be waking everyone up.

And please, avoid Miley Cyrus. Forever.

Clearly a musical genius.

5. Keep the lights on.
Some of us study under a single table lamp. Hopefully none of us study under candlelight or even worse, moonlight.

You need a good amount of light otherwise you'll be reminded of where you should be: in bed.

6. Don't text your friend.
If it's your friend that's bombarding you with text messages, chances are they're equally as screwed as you are.

Engage in conversation if it's relevant to work, but don't go off to discuss the mysteries of the universe either.

7. Don't Google "how to pull an all-nighter".
You'll end up reading about what you should be doing, when really what you should be doing is studying.

8. Man up.
Harden up. Like Metapod.

You will pull this all-nighter.

Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that the fate of the human race rests on your shoulders.

Your number has been called. Your time is now.

No pressure of course!