Friday, January 6, 2012

Buying Presents

So Christmas is finally over, I hope everyone had an awesome time and a great start to the new year :)

I was at the shops a few days before Christmas.

It was a nightmare, as shopping usually is. I guess you could say I'm not exactly "gifted" at shopping. Ho ho ho.

Happy shopping defies logic if you're a guy.

So my friend and I are at the shops and he says to me: "You gonna buy her a present?"

"Sure" I say. "But I don't know what I'll get her yet".

"You should get something that matches her personality" he says.

I think about it for a moment.

The present you get someone is actually really important, whether it's for a family member, friend or interest.

Like what if I bought her "luxurious soap" or whatever it is they've got in the beauty department at David Jones?

Are beautiful soaps for beautiful girls or for ugly girls who want to be beautiful?

I reckon most guys will buy that kind of thing for pretty girls. They want to make her feel and look beautiful. And isn't that how they've set themselves up for disaster?

I know exactly what's gonna happen to a guy who has made this mistake.

Come Christmas day.

He'll be holding his exquisite present for this girl he really likes. He'll have rehearsed a couple of lines before going over to her. And she'll be dressed up, looking all pretty or whatever.

He'll take a deep breath and confidently approach her.

You know, do the masculine thing.

"Merry Christmas!" he'll say "I got a little something for you. You're gonna love it."

And she'll be all like "Oh wow, that's so sweet of you! You're so amazing! And adorable! And cute! You're the best!"

No doubt he'll be expecting a kiss at this point. But he won't get it.

Instead, she'll run off with some "hot" guy in the corner who'll be completely surrounded with girls and got her a sparkly purple dildo for Christmas.

Let's be honest. He just gave her a banana. That's all he's good for.

Our man over here however, will be unsurprisingly shattered. Broken to bits. His hopes dashed. His dreams wrecked.

One day he'll say to his friend: "You should get something that matches her personality.

Get her a kitten. 'Cause she only goes out with pussies."

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